I am always trying to locate someone in the crowd I can talk to. Someone who finds peace in my smiles and decides to sit beside me for just a cup of tea. But at sixty and seven more added to it, finding friends is the hardest part for me.
I have been meaning to tell many people that nothing they will do, will ever be serious when seen in the context of their lives. But then this is the one thing they shall never take seriously.
I read that Robin Williams died. What a rude shock for us believers.
“Reality…what a concept” his hit single from the seventies. It finally found perfect space and meaning in terms of his life.
She walks by yet again. I have been meaning to ask the lady out for coffee. You see she was sixteen and I was five, we were neighbours. Today we are old and insane. At least forgetful enough to ignore the age. Back then she was too uptight to do the same.
“Hello, Michael, sitting alone today?” she smiled beautifully. Her white hair shine in the bright sun rays.
“Waiting for you my love,” I answer charmingly.
She laughs. Only a crackle emits out of her mouth these days. But the soft wrinkles of the face make up for what is lost in voice.
“You know you are eleven years younger to me,” she replied in jest.
“Really, I had no clue!” I reply, feigning surprise to the best.
“Well I need to go now. I have been meaning to speak to Jane about her new bicycle,” and with these words she pecked my cheeks and left.
It was just then that I decided to go after her and speak my heart out. It has been ten years since Lolita left me for God.
Why not give myself a second chance?
“Angie,” I call out her name.
“Yes Michael”, she replied rather quietly.
“Why do you think poor Robin Williams died?” I asked, keeping my gaze away from her piercing eyes.
“Old man had no wish to continue in this life,” she replied softly.
“Do you believe he had nothing better to look forward to?” I continued.
“Perhaps,” she answered, her tone deepening with every successive reply.
“Do you believe a man dies when he has nothing to look forward to?” I asked another.
She only nodded this time, careful to record my changing expressions.
“You see Angie, there are two things I wish to tell you today. First is that I am eleven years younger than you and I have known it all along. And secondly I have nothing to look forward to in present state of mind. After much contemplation I have concluded that in light of recent revelations and discussions that we have had, I will suicide because like Robin Williams I have nothing to look forward to . But by the virtue of the fact that I am eleven years younger than you, law of life says that you should die before me,” at this I took a pause.
I noticed her contorting facial expressions and at the precise moment that our eyes met, I smiled.
“And meeting you I have realised that if we get married I will have something to look forward to and in due course perhaps not die,” I continued this time not withstanding the straight pair of eyes sitting straight back.
“Are you proposing me Mr. Fernandes?” she asked mockingly.
“No I am only saying that if you have nothing to look forward to and wish to put an end to your life then perhaps marrying me could make that process come faster to you,” I replied, grinning from eye to eye.
She only laughed and said, “yes.”
*Author’s note: This is fiction of course. But what I intended to say was that finding smaller things in life is at times far more important than moving mountains of success*