It has been so long I believe I have forgotten what a free write feels.
Or in fact what write feels.
But I do know some of the basics. It never starts as a free write. It never runs as a free write. It has many false starts. It always first presents itself as a fancy article on a fanciful serious topic. Like this one started as ‘State Vs Social Media’ and somewhere state decided to defer the judgement to another Monday musings.
It instills fear. It instills trance. It helps you breathe. It makes you anxious. It builds up a theme. It breaks down thoughts.
But no really. What is a free write?
Is any write completely free? Am I not wondering about the snide judgements that shall be passed in closed corridors of the reader’s minds? Am I not afraid my reputation could be at stake with every passing word that runs on my screen.
Has this ever been free? What is free? Something that has no price attached.
Is that even possible? Is there any act which doesn’t attract retribution?
Will I google retribution only to check if I have used it correctly? Yes.
It has been a long time since I began writing. An even longer time when I had started to think I could write. But somewhere between, the charm to write freely went. From five hundred words on a blog to 140 characters in a tweet, it all got measured. Numbered.
We started following. And then be followed.And in due process hunt and be hunted. Freedom was the obvious price to pay.
It stopped being free. Everything.
Tonight when the clock will strike twelve (or has it already?) I will not be free anymore. I would have allowed another day to hold me back. Another idea to possess me. Another dream that caught its strings inside my heart. Another man who may have shared his life with me. Left me with a little more. Left me with a lot less.
Does this make sense to you? At all?
When I started writing, State (friends & family) Vs Richa held a court case where their primary complaint was- it doesn’t even make sense to finish what you have written. Did it make sense to finish writing?
“Make it more simple. More coherent. Less complicated”.
Binary. 0 or 1.
Strip it off the ambiguity. Allow it to breathe. Make it more easy to comprehend.
Did we make it less free by making it more liberated?
Did we remove complexity only to bound it in comprehension?
As a writer is my vision not important to me? Does it have to be communicated the way a reader reads? How about the way writer feels?
Of course we were keeping track. It is tough. You never know what we breathe. What freedom we need to give up tomorrow morning for this read.
Are words no longer free? Have we writers become our own thought police?
Is this a free write?
Thats me in Venice. Freely posing and sleeping at the same time 🙂
Connecting to MondayMusings