Why in the world did he walk away from me? Why didn’t he at least stop by to look behind? I could have done something better, perhaps thrown my arms around him and kissed him. Or better still asked him to marry me right there. But then he didn’t do any of it. He only walked away leaving me with no option but to go back home.
Now you remember home right? You do I hope. The same place where mother and dad live. Where they didn’t like travelling but only for me they planned a trip to go abroad. What did they know that they spoilt perhaps the best adventure of my life. Adventure, as much as I demand it in same quantities in escapes me.
Poor Babita that night she refused to eat anything as the urchins told me. She became adamant that I must return but then what could I have done. I could not leave the house at night without planning to escape it forever. Because once I run away at that unearthly hour no one is going to agree to take me back without at least a “piece of their mind”. The piece of course is long and boring and always interceded with warnings. Empty warnings, its not like they would seriously send me off to the hostel. They cannot I know it. The fees is too high for them to afford not that they love me or anything. I think if they could afford it I would be long gone by.
But now this boy, Srikanth. He is not leaving my mind at all. I have been wanting to tell him that let’s go to Paris and speak those unspeakable words. The words that I have rehearsed only for him. But he thinks I am less of a person it seems. He must be saying it inside his head or perhaps to his girlfriend from next neighbourhood.
I wanted to be with him. Not like be with him but to be in his mind at least. Poor Babita, she always senses that I need her. I can see her whimpering close by. She never needs me to run wild or go helter skelter with her like other dogs, just to allow her a space around me. She is also like me. I also want Srikanth to only allow me that place where I can sit with him. He can narrate all his stories to me I will not get bored. I promise.
“You are late again. One of these days I will stop allowing you to go outside,” I entered the house with the thundering words in the background.
Woman must love me, she is sure incapable to speak it out loud. Or even feel it for a moment in the day.
* * *
Love. This word has been haunting me ever since I visited Paris. They say it right, its the most romantic place in the world. It leaves you with such notions about life one can never forget. I came back and the first person I met in school was Srikanth. I knew it was a sign, it was love. Of course, me coming back from Paris and meeting him the first it is a sure shot sign.
After that everytime some one would say, “Srikanth” my heart skipped a heartbeat. I would slowly speak his name in my sleep. I was going mad. I wanted to see the same expression on his face. But everytime that moment came close, his mother would scream from behind, “SRIKANTH”
And these times my heart didn’t skip a beat. Mothers I tell you they can start their own torture cell for kids.
* * *
“I, I, I,….” he stuttered and stuttered.
Inside my head I was practising “I love you too”
“I , I I love you,” there he finally spoke these words. I would want to believe he spoke on his own. But then last night I almost texted him that I liked him. I mean not exactly I just told him, ” I have stolen mother’s phone to text you on your mother’s that means something to both of us. Who would take that kind of jeopardy.”
Next morning before the assembly he asked me to meet him during tea break. I knew the work was done. I even kept a small mirror in the bag to settle my hair and I quickly retrieved it. I couldn’t do much to make them better, they were tied in two plaits and had a cup of oil dripping from each strand.
“You need to put oil. It is important,” went my mother on and on about it. I knew it was her secret plan to foil my looks so that the “mirror mirror” would always say she is the most beautiful. I don’t care besides I don’t eat apples and do like dwarfs.
Okay so back to the “moment”. The initial three words done with. Now time to raise my heels. I mean time to kiss.
He came closer and closer and closer…
“SRIKANTH” this time it was out PT teacher. He needed him to come for the practices.
One down, one more to go. The “I love you” is over kiss left. After that I will dump him. That’s the plan.
What all a girl must do to get her first kiss.
* * *