Contd from “Change my name? No, never!”- Part 2
“Yes you can, all I wanted to tell you was that I am getting married. Its all fixed up!” he replied excitedly.
Radha wondered whether the news in some way would help her move on from him. Whether now she would start looking out for a new engagement, for a new object of love to keep herself occupied?
Occupied. Hadn’t she taken up this new job to be occupied? To beat the deep sense of loneliness she felt when her three younger sisters, no matter how vitriolic, married and left?
But returning to that question, no she would not be able to move on from him. The world might seem to be a lot more lonely if it wasn’t the isolated thought of love in her heart. She wondered if her mind and heart loved him for his qualities or to quench the desire to feel attached to someone.
“I am very happy for you. Will call you in the evening to get details,” she replied solemnly.
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But love must be found in better ways. She often thought. Why run after a man who dispels all doubts from her mind of a happier tomorrow. He has never as much as complimented the colour of her eyes, which she herself agrees is quite unique. Then too she wants to remain in love with him. After he happily announced the breaking news of his engagement, she even now cannot help but miss him.
“There is only little you can do to ask yourself the same question. The replies often don’t change over a minute or so,” a strange peaky voice broke her thoughts in the middle.
Startled, she turned to look at the door, a rather tall and lean woman with boyish hair was standing at the entrance. Her mischievous smile coupled with a rather comfortable demeanour intimidated Radha a bit. But she knew better than to reveal that. And so she casually smiled and gestured the lady to come inside. She still wondered whether the boxer shorts clad female deserved the address of “lady”. But then she never judges people on clothes and she is not going to start doing that anytime soon.
“Sangeeta Lakhera, the new English teacher here. I joined last month. You seemed to be new too?” the woman rather quickly initiated the introductions.
“Radha Raman. I am here to teach chemistry to the graduation first year students. And yes I joined only last evening,” she replied rather confidently as opposed to what she was feeling inside.
“So Radha what was it that you were asking yourself over and over again but getting no reply?” the lady called Sangeeta, prodded.
Radha feigned ignorance perfectly.
“Come on its not like I was born yesterday. When a woman watches the tick tock of the clock for almost fifteen minutes she is surely not day dreaming but rather undergoing a painful introspection. Maybe you would tell me sometime later. Over a glass of beer perhaps,” she replied in that dismissive tone. Which revealed much of the end of the discussion.
After about fifteen minutes of courteous conversation, they together started to go towards the dining hall for dinner. It was on way that Sangeeta suddenly stopped Radha and turned to face her.
“There is something I want to tell you before hand because you would most definitely get the rumours from somewhere else,” she stopped short to maybe gauge Radha’s reaction.
Noticing that there was not much change in Radha’s expressions she continued, “Radha. I am a lesbian and not the closet kind I am very open about my orientation.”
to be contd at “When did you come to realise?”- Part 4
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