contd from “Broken much of my defenses”-Part 24
“A couple of days back I was imagining my life without you. I think I felt a part of me died only by thinking about it.You have in these years broken much of my defenses it seems,” Sangeeta continued to speak in a soft whisper.
* * *
Now she knew, there was no running away from the fact that Sangeeta was the reason behind her detachment in marriage. Shikhar was a great man and perhaps parts of him always knew that Radha remained in the marital life more out of duty than will. But what could she do now? The facts are there, her life is sorted and yet she doesn’t have the strength to do what her heart wants her to do.
Will it ever get alright? Will I ever be happy in love?Radha’s mind exploded with such questions.
“Ma’am could you please explain the equation once again?” a petite girl in class broke the trajectory of Radha’s thoughts.
Radha had no choice but to rise from the deep trance of turmoil and proceed to the board for explanation.
“So the left side of the equation denotes the inputs for the equation. Sulphuric acid when combined with sodium hydroxide reacts and gives us a neutral compound, a salt Sodium sulphate and water. This way right side is a more balanced combination with the end products. All equations happen because the present set of inputs are unstable and need to move towards a more stable combination,” she stopped speaking suddenly.
Every word around her had started to speak in between lines. Every line, every monosyllable was telling her more than they actually meant.
* * *
“Is there something important to discuss?” Sangeeta spoke stoically.
“No nothing. I just wanted to get out of campus and have coffee. Did I take you away from something important?” Radha asked, keeping her voice and head low.
“No nothing pressing as such but then Kavita wanted to go out for dinner with some friends. And she insisted I accompany her,” Sangeeta continued in her no-nonsense voice.
Radha felt a jolt just listening to that name. She raised her head slowly to meet Sangeeta’s eyes, she could see that there was no emotion or feeling there. Sangeeta had decided to remain deliberately aloof.
“Mam your order please,” the waiter’s crisp voice offered some respite from the electrifying tension between them.
“A latte for me,” Sangeeta replied in a sharp tone.
“Nothing for now,’ Radha answered softly.
For a few minutes neither spoke. They only shifted their gaze from one point in the cafe to the other carefully avoiding each other. They both had understood the discomfort in the understanding they now shared. It was for real, their love. There was no scope for ambiguity.
“An equation is never quite balanced when its incomplete. And balancing it takes a lot of energy, sometimes it releases harmful by products also. On the whole completing an equation in actuals is a difficult process,” Radha suddenly started to speak.
Sangeeta stared at her with a confused expression.
“I was teaching today in college a certain equation and while explaining I saw how on paper it looks so simple but in real to conduct a complete reaction, a lot of efforts are involved. And not all by products are beneficial. But at least one is. One compound is stable and also useful,” Radha paused to registered Sangeeta’s reactions.
Comprehension had started to flow on Sangeeta’s face.
“It seems difficult on paper to execute it but once it is complete the end result is more permanent. Its more stable, until then the two compounds left as it is will remain restless,” Radha spoke haltingly.
Sangeeta still hadn’t spoken a word.
“Ma’am your coffee,” the waiter suddenly interjected the one sided conversation.
After he left the silence on the table was ceremoniously resumed.
Only ten minutes later, Sangeeta kept her coffee back on the table and said, “Since when have the compounds started to be restless? You almost speak as if they have a mind of their own here.”
Radha got startled to hear her voice, she raised her head to observe Sangeeta. Sangeeta was smiling at her in that mischievous way she normally does.
And the air got lighter it seemed, inside Radha’s heart alacrity burst. She suddenly started to feel the reaction proceed.
to be contd. at A decision had to be reached-Part 25
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