contd from “Sarcasm seems to be the flavour of my life”- Part 6
She had been behaving strangely all day and Sangeeta could not understand the reason behind it. But of course her question helped get a lot of answers.
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“You must tell me the boy’s name,” Sangeeta spoke in jest.
Radha only looked more innocent if possible to avoid any further prodding.
“I am pretty sure you have a complicated love life going on. From all my experience, which I have many, its a one sided affair,” she continued.
Radha looked faraway at the students playing football on the field. Football. He surely wanted me to come and see his matches every week. And by routine I always went. Was it love?
Radha could have continued a bit more. In fact she could have carried out the perfect act of ignorance she was continuing, rather well. But then the bombardment of thoughts inside her head made them difficult to be contained.
“How can one be sure that it was love? What if heart has conjured the idea of love to keep oneself happy? Or occupied? What defines that it was love and not just a mere thought of same?” Radha finally broke her silence.
Sangeeta stared at her. She saw a strange light on Radha’s face. Like these questions were more rhetoric than expecting some answers. And so she decided to not speak, she knew the queries put up would be answered in a while.
“I often think that for seven years I loved him or just identified an object of love to while away my time. If I was at home I might have been a wreck. Just the mere thought of him marrying used to kill me. In the past two days I have coped up pretty well. Were my feelings that frivolous? Did he mean to me nothing more than an enjoyable past time of youth?” Radha spoke as if she was in a way rebuking herself, the contempt was so clearly visible on her face.
Sangeeta only smiled, she knew that preaching is never the key to such situations. She had to wait for the emotional upheaval inside Radha to subside.
“Seven years, Sangeeta. Seven years. You wanted to know why I didn’t get married while my younger sisters did? Its because I was waiting for Sushant. And so the delay. This news of him getting engaged should shatter me. It should kill me from inside. But no. That’s not the case. I feel free. I feel like someone has opened the cage door and asked me to fly away. Like I had for seven years not waited for my marriage to him but only his marriage to anyone. The wait was only for his marriage. Why the hell do I not want to cry? Why do I feel like a burden is lifted?” Radha’s voice took a sharp upward curve.
“What if it is? What if I told you that all your conclusions are true, then?” Sangeeta spoke in her softest voice.
to be contd. at But it was all hidden… -Part 8
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This is day 8 at:
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What next? I hope Sangeeta picks herself up soon đ
I hope so too and I have a feeling you are confusing Radha with Sangeeta đ
Glad that she is reflecting and trying to analyse her feelings…
What’s next?
Perhaps now things would go up. Now she would be able to see things more clearly…
i have been following this from part 1… amazing style, narrative and characters! me too asks…what next? đ
Let’s see Apala what next sometimes I allow Radha to decide. And yes thank you for the amazing compliments đ
Hmmmmm
And that hmmmm spoke volumes….
what next? đ
this seems to be everyone’s question!!
Yes I observe that.. And the question on my mind too..
Definitely not a pleasant situation to be in. I know people who have been there, done that, some have ruined their lives, some moved on and living happy lives. Let us see what she chooses. Hope she keeps her happiness primary. đ
Yes bhavya it has to be her prime concern now. Everything she should think about..
Isn’t it true in life that we just want “something” to happen. She was wanting him to make a move…even if it wasn’t in her direction! LOVED it!:~)
True its the inactivity which holds us. When things move we often proceed with the flow..
Tell her to move on. Sushant isn’t worth it.
Will do so soon đ
lot of tumultuous feelings going on in Radha’s mind…i wonder if there’d be a surprise for her?
I wonder too đ
hmmm.. What I am not sure if it is the numbness before the storm..the period when you are fine with things and feel detached or if these feelings are revelatory ones to her ownself
What a great point!you have identified something quite correct..
I think she should move on. There could be something much better waiting for her.
Kathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
Perhaps… but is it easy? Isnt moving on easy as advice?
the fact that she feels relieved at the news of Sushant’s engagement tells us that she found this ‘love’ in her heart binding her life and now she feels free knowing that she doesn’t have to wait for the reciprocation any more… like the way it is going đ
Yes you are quite close to the truth…
good going….now i will read the next part
Hope you are enjoying it…
Wonderful…
thanks Ava đ
It is a tough thing to confront such a situation, realising that one was in love with only the idea of love and not that person per se.
and often such situations arise…