Contd from Can I have it?-Part 22

“No, no. I am okay, I need another favour from you. Do you know any publisher?”Clutching the manuscript tightly, she spoke.

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Dear Friend,

I am sorry. I read the last letter again and how I wish I could tear it up and forget it all. But if you are to understand me and my life then such moments cannot be wiped away. I hope you would forgive me for being rude to you.

Its been a month now since my last letter. And almost two years have passed since my coming to Mumbai. I have many a times wished to understand my life through someone else. But there was no one I could rely on. 
I always wanted someone of my own, someone on whom I could entrust my life’s deepest secrets.

Now its too late. Suyash came close to being that someone. But my own ego and issues with life stopped me from moving ahead. Again, I have no regrets whatsoever. I am proud of myself in my own way. You might find it strange to hear this but despite all that has happened, I still want to be a writer. Perhaps even more so now.

My manuscripts have been gathering dust. No one even wishes to look at them. But almost every second day I glance at them, reminding me of their importance in my life. They are the reason I am alive today. Alive. Yes I have moments when I want to take away my life. But I cannot even do that. I lack the courage.

I am living a life of a hag perhaps but yet my mind is clutching onto the last strands of this existence. Humans are strange. They behave in ways even God cannot understand.

Are you in love? Love makes you do weird things. How I wish I could tell you some things? I have secrets inside. A person I wish to talk about but I am scared. I might jinx it. He is probably the closest I have come to being together. And yes he knows my life’s every detail. 

Do you know me enough in my present life to understand as to whom I am talking about? Or has that person deserted me?

I want to live. I want to love. I want to scream from the top of the mountain, I survived. 


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“She mentioned someone she loved?” Suyash looked very surprised.

“Yes. Was she dating someone? Someone who might have promised to be with her forever?” Ramya asked, still reeling under the impact of the last information.

“I have no idea. I mean if she was she didn’t tell me for sure,” he replied, the wide eyed expression still on his face.

Ramya sat quietly and started to connect the dots in her head. Whatever little information she had, she started to draw them together.

“There was this man I saw her with at a party. She looked very happy with him. Maybe he was?” Ramya replied.

“Which party?When did this occur?” Suyash asked.

“A couple of days before her death. This man looked to be some business tycoon and he was walking hand in hand with Mallika,” she spoke, recalling that odd interaction she had with Mallika in the hotel.

Suyash looked pensive.

“Can you tell me what he looked like?” Suyash asked.

“Tall, dark had a broad built, not thin but then not even fat. He was wearing a tuxedo and had a strange pointed nose. His whole personality radiated a very well groomed upbringing,” she spoke whatever little she remembered from that night.

Suyash rose and brought a file out. He flipped through the sheets and suddenly stopped at a certain page.

“Will that man be this?” He passed the opened file to Ramya.

“Yes he is the same man,” Ramya replied haltingly.

to be contd. at Where is she?-Part 24

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Connecting it with Ultimate Blogging Challenge.

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