* * *
Ramya knew that she would be alone at home. Ayesha. Some of the things were so apparent and yet she had not been able to notice it. It was right there, in front of her eyes. Imagine how much of it was going on and Ramya had been clueless.
But still so many things not understood.
When Ramya entered the house, Ayesha was playing with her dolls. She looked very lost. And somehow strangely for a child of three very mature.
“Hi, Daddy is not at home,” she turned around quietly and replied.
Ramya noticed that she did not even have to speak a word to make her presence felt around Ayesha. The soft fall of her footsteps was enough to trigger registration.
“It is you I have come to meet,” Ramya answered softly
Ayesha pushed away the dolls to make space for Ramya to sit.
“Very pretty dolls. Daddy bought them?” Ramya tried to strike a conversation.
Ayesha only nodded. In her eyes, Ramya found a deep sense of loneliness. For a child of eight this sure looked like the most unlikely emotion.
“Have you seen this book before, Ayesha?” Ramya slowly dragged the book out of the bag and showed her.
Ayesha stared at it for sometime. And then suddenly snatched it from Ramya.
“This book is mine,” that is all she replied.
Ramya wanted more answers but Ayesha’s sudden withdrawal stopped her from pursuing any further.
* * *
A lot has been happening. I know it is love which brought me to places but somehow things are turning around. They are also taking me to highs and lows I am not able to contain. When I saw highs and lows I really mean it. Sometimes I feel like I am on top of the world and then other times I realise I might have taken an unreturnable detour.
Now going back to that railway station also looks like a dismal task. You understand the word dismal? No hope. Yes the juncture at which life has stopped now everything is divided into high hopes or no hopes. And the stakes are high, returns nil. Or so I feel. Or so I think. Perhaps I do both more than the share of my mind and heart.
Before it was about dreams I had seen and they not getting fulfilled. But love is about dreams you discover and they not finding the right end. End. Now scrap that, its a depressing word to use with a beautiful emotion like love. Love is all about finding space and time forever. A mark which never goes.
I have felt that mark in me. I have felt that mark in him. Will we survive? Or have I felt it wrong? So many before me have undergone these emotions and so many after will also. But will any one of us find answers before it is too late or too early? Love has no timing. It has no perfection. Yes it has repercussions. And none so mild. All with deep undertones of extreme.
Forgive me if I make no sense.
In these moments, I wish I was sitting there in place of you. Holding all the answers, smiling at my follies in paper knowing fully well how it all will end. End. I keep using this word incorrectly.
A beginning. How it all began for me. That’s what I need to tell.
* * *
For the first time while reading these letters I am as clueless as you. I have no idea what happened here. Where Ayesh fits, where you fit and where will all this ends. Yes ends. One thing I am sure is this, it did end.
You were right, it did end.
to be contd. at But why would this be so?-Part 28
* * *
Connecting it with Ultimate Blogging Challenge.