Start with the RV (Recreation van)
I will need an RV inside which I will setup my lab. I will then have to drive it to a place isolated, away from the public’s eye. Letting me be, allowing me to cook my meth in peace.
.In India if I have an RV I will definitely not go unnoticed. Every now and then there will be someone wanting to sneak inside. Kids with their balloons needing a ride. And of course our very own Police officers needing their chai paani, it has to be illegal on some ground when my poor little sedan is on some occasions. This is a bloody RV!
To ensure none of this happens I need an ABANDONED site. In India with a population equaling one sixth of the world’s total, you really think I can find any space where people let me be? A place outside the city where no one can disturb me?
My wife is not a book keeper like Skylan White, she is an engineer and a writer. She definitely cannot launder my Crores of Indian cook money. Apart from this Baba Ramdev is hell-bent on cancelling 1000 and 500 Rs currency. How am I supposes to launder 100/- and 50/- Rs currency? The sacks to fill notes will perhaps take most of my money :-/
In India it is difficult to find a partner like Saul Goodman. A person who can take you out of any shit. Highly competent lawyer who is able to solve problems and find loopholes in order to protect his clients. Here I will only find lawyers who think on the lines of taking more money out from my pocket.
I will probably forget about cooking meth and open a small stationery shop selling photostats and stamp papers because most of my time will be devoted in purchasing them in India for all court cases.
Ooohhhh this one is the toughest because finding a guy like Jesse will be impossible. If someone wants to volunteer he can come for an interview. But really guys having a girlfriend might be the main deal-breaker in this. Because then basically your life would revolve around commands such as “baby where are you”, “no tell me where are you”,”you don’t love me anymore”. And not just girlfriends, there are mothers with their “beta khanakhaya” gharkabaaouge” OMG can’t handle this kind of shit.
Badger and Skinny Pete
They are sidekicks of Jesse in the show. Friends and partners in meth distribution network. Their USP is that they work with utmost honesty and integrity. In India picture this, guys are selling meth and instead of money they get “kal le lena bhai”, tu bhai nahi hai mera”, “Aaj tak aisa kabhi houa hai?” , “bus last time udhaar dede”.
To add to the issues, there will be a dozen middle men, and with their million cuts cash in the end will be nothing. And also they will have their own corruption issues, unexpected leaves without any information (I am also a corporate employee I know how I work). At the end I will be left with an inefficient system in which there will be losses and bureaucracy. What will be the difference between me and my boss then?
I just read the last line again, “What will be the difference between me and my boss then?” No I cannot lower myself to this extent. Even I have a reputation to protect. Hence the decision to start breaking bad in India has been duly cancelled.
This post has been written by Vikas Agarwal aka husband dearest who can be found at @vikas_agarwal18.
For more such posts you can check out Humour
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Nice one Vikas! 🙂
That was one hell of a post…But how did you get him to write woman! 😀
Thanks Nabanita,…she drags me to write… 🙂
Oh and here was I wondering what crime you had committed to deserve the life sentence you’re serving! 😛
hahhahha ,this is not just for one bad karma,must be for millions i have committed in the past.Thanks Corinne,its great that u liked the post…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Earlier, I thought you have penned down this post and thus, got a little more excited to comment. Consequently, read half of the post and went straight to the comment box. 😀
But, later found out that it was written by your hubby!
Well, I must say, it made me lol 😀
Pass my greeting to him.
Moreover, will he also do a similar piece for Prison Break, The Big Bang theory, Dexter? 😀
Thanks Varun will see and work on it. at present i am working on Game of Thrones.
Game of Thrones! Can’t wait to read that 🙂
Lol.. Richa you should get him to come here more often.
Ya Tulika…I want to but I am too lazy…she had to drag me to write.
Great post!! Very interesting, thanks for sharing Richa!!
Just checking again to see if my comment went through. 🙂
No actually it didnt 🙁 still waiting
That was fun to read! And yey for getting your husband to write:-)
Thankyou Eli …
Not the first so I´m trying again. 🙂
I liked the look of the blog, warm and tidy.
Interesting social analysis, delivered in a light, humourous approach. Very engaging.
Ahh! This was a great post!
hahahahaah, you broke my heart. But you got a point here!!
P.S- I could be your saul goodman!
Ok..I can think on this…great that you liked it.. 🙂
Probably a good decision to stay on the straight and narrow and not take this option.
Ya true Kathy…difficult to workout the plan in India…
Hahaha! lovely post
That’s a lovely post, Vikas…you have some very good sense of humour. Niiiice!
Love the hilarious post, Richa. The stark reality of life read with a smile on my face:)
I am happy to bring smile to your face ..Thanks Vishal
LOL – He has a sense of hunour! Loved it
ROFL 😀 loved it 😀 that’s how life is 😀 damn life…
Nice write. And insightful!!!
LOL 😀 That was a fun read!! 😀
His escape from punishment made me laugh!
You should make Vikas write more Richa! That was hilarious! 😀
Thanks Pixie, I will try and write more..
My God! Writing runs in the Family!!! This was hilarious!!! Richa great work….for making Vikas write…:P
Haha! Great post Richa 😀
witty comparisons, great work Vikas!
ROFL…hillarious….True that,,,,Breaking Bad is definitely not possible here in India….All the above mentioned reasons are Bang on! 🙂
Great analysis 🙂 Kudos to Richa for making hubby dear write! 🙂 Woman power!