There is a common thread that has been going circles in my head for a while now.

Finding yourself in adversity. And today I discovered a new facet of it.

Finding yourself despite adversity.

No. It doesn’t mean the same. Not all noise is music. In same way not all adversity is constructive or motivating.

As Indians we are taught more often than needed that all forms of opposition or difficulties is God’s way of paving way. And this makes us embrace difficult situations more than one needs in any given time. Yes it helps but at what cost? Maybe there is a shorter way. An easier path. They say tortoise won, but that is because rabbit slept. What if he hadn’t? What if he had been smarter. Why leave success to chances then?

Coming back to subject.

Finding yourself despite adversity.

I was reading a book based on Swami Vivekananda’s life. And then all through this last week it was juxtaposed by (internet provided) biographies of many authors, leaders, musicians, etc. And there seemed to be a common thread through all of them.

They faltered. They failed due to their own fallacies. And they are not known for them.

Yes. This kind of created a eureka moment for me. And turned me to remember one of my oft repeated lines.

Marriage is not an ideal decision.

No do not get me wrong here. It is a metaphor. To elaborate further on this is my next writing.

Most of us build our lives on threads. Snippets of conversations with friends, families, gurus etc. Not to forget the elusive inner voice. And these threads further elongate themselves to suffocate us. Literally.

Breaking free from these is just as important in life as finding the right path is. No, not easy, not ideal but ‘right’.

Why did I particularly choose marriage to represent this ideology? 

Because marriage is a decision. That we make. And secondly it represents our life’s entire thought process in one step.

If you seriously need to understand more about a person look for his partner. Look for the circumstances in which his marriage took place. You might get seventy percent things right about him just by that.

Hence I say, do not treat marriage as an ideal decision. Do not let people understand you so easily by that one simple act. Be more than your ideals in a moment.

Adjust, twist, look for the right things not ideal things. All the time.

Now clear your head of the marriage thing and read the entire last piece in context of road to success.

Vivekananda, supreme philosopher and promoter of Hindu thought and spirituality spent many years brooding his poverty and lack of health. His ideas may have spread far and wide but back home he was dependent on a Rajasthani patron to see his family through many crunches. A yogi, an ascetic and yet heartbroken at his failures.

But do we know him for this?

Alice Walker. A writer. A Pulitzer prize winner. A feminist. A strong advocate of racial equality. Disowned by her own daughter publicly. Denounced as a failed mother figure. 

But again, how many of us ever even spend five minutes of our times over this?

Bill Clinton. His success as POTUS has been far and wide. His ideas on politics and world domination status of USA is what we know as of today. Yet a Monica Lewinsky happened. And despite all the bad press he received, people still respect him for he was- a great leader.

Most of us think that fighting odds or adversity can help us grow. Maybe yes. But not always. Sometime fighting odds should not be your centre stage.

Like I said earlier as well. Choose your battles. Not all the battles are worth the medals they provide. 


Do not take all the wrong turns of life for your ideals!

Be happy. Be successful. And more than idealistic, be You!

Tonight, tell us if there is one battle you are presently in or was which taught you nothing in return then share it with us! Let us declassify these so called glorifies battles once and for all!

Also connecting it with Write Tribe’s #MondayMusings

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