In my defence I tried. I tried not to blog on the issue because clearly there is a lot of stuff already spoken on it. And a lot of it I agree to.

But post 2016 I am a certified anti-national, blasphemous citizen of our country and I thought well ‘What the hell!’. So here I am trying to make sense of my own thoughts.

I confess I had only seen Gurmehar’s post on #StudentsAgainstABVP and despite the fact that I am consistently online I had missed her April 2016 video. So it came as a huge surprise to me when suddenly amidst all the ABVP discussions we started speaking of army, Pakistan and Kargil. I know it looked all a bit too stupid to me.

But then when I saw what i saw it started to make sense. Why has her video suddenly been brought back? Your guess is as good as mine (propaganda) but well if you are a lover boy (I am not here to justify my nationalism so shall write what I like to write) then of course her video makes TOTAL LEGIT SENSE TO DISCUSS RIGHT NOW.

Coming back to video now. I saw the video and since I am already an anti-national by all the present books I will confess- IT DID NOT MATTER TO IF SHE IS A MARTYRS DAUGHTER. Ermmm. It did not. It still doesn’t.

At this juncture I would like to ask you a question. Have you lost a parent? I hope not. Just an added info- I have.

At the age of thirteen I lost my mother to brain haemorrhage. At one moment she was laughing and talking to me and next she had collapsed, right in front of me. We took her to a hospital by when she had slipped into coma and within ten days we had lost her. 

One of my closest friend’s father was part of the team of doctors who operated on her. He came home to speak to me. He drew a brain diagram and sketched a lot of things only to explain to me what had happened. But my mind had shut.

“She would have been paralysed forever”- He said.

“I would have taken care of her, at least she would have been around.”- I replied.

That was a thirteen year old.

I refused to visit that hospital ever again. I refused to visit my friend’s home ever again.

To me doctors were now officially stupid. I believed they had no relevance to my life. Even today (a lot of my friends will vouch) I can run a very high fever and yet not go visit a doctor.

When I saw the video I just stared at this. 

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This shook me. There she spoke things to me almost no one else could ever have. That deep rooted damage losing a loved one can do. To your mind, your way of approaching things.

How did no one get shocked that a young kid went and stabbed a woman because she had some misguided sense of placing blame on a community. How has the next few slides become your talking point?

I am sorry I will have to say this: Because you have not lost your parent as a child. That kind of thing destroys you. It makes you see things in the most weird way.

Coming back to her. She goes on to say that this incident then evolved her way of thinking. Pushed her toward becoming a pacifist.

Since you all LOVE history when it comes to Hindu rulers, who remembers Asoka? Why did he suddenly turn himself into a buddhist?

Let your hypocrisy help you discover your answer.

614 words. This is not a free write. This is just to tell you that people suffer. They are at the receiving end of shit like war and your misguided nationalism doesn’t make things better for them.

Jai Hind.

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