First up, thank you so much for making my last post ‘30 myths busted at 30‘ *almost* viral. No seriously, it saw maximum number of views being recorded in a day (a personal record for this blog – nine years!)
In that post, I mentioned that as you reach closer to thirty, you see growth of an extra pair of horns, blinkers and obviously grey hair.
But wait, lets pause at blinkers today.
What are blinkers?
a pair of small leather screens attached to a horse’s bridle to prevent it seeing sideways and behind and being startled.
So basically, when we say ‘Put your blinkers on’ we intend to say that not all that goes around you, needs attention.
Almost a year back a rather untoward incident happened to me online. Someone while targeting me through certain social posts (mind you this person was not following me on any medium – so clearly going out of way here, anyways) dragged my family.
Needless to say, I was shocked beyond. We all have likes, dislikes. We all have arguments – I know some of my closest friends owning bang opposite views and not that we don’t debate. But to place in family? I agree as much as I am strong enough to take any onslaught – it was too much for me. Because I cannot respond in similar light.
I spent almost an entire day brooding (first and last time even tweeted about something that hurt me so much online). Next day another friend (from my online world) was visiting home. She found me a pool of mush, I was barely able to speak properly. She asked me to for an explanation and I broke down into the story of what had happened.
At the end of it I obviously expected a word of encouragement or perhaps sympathy. But what she said surprised me, totally.
“Umm who is this person? I have never heard of.. ” she replied.
I stared. For long. And then it struck me. Really, I mean who is this person? What significance? Why the hell should I even be bothered !
Moral of the story is – when you attempt to create a certain life or build things, the naysayers arrive early on. And often they become your differentiating factor. Whether you choose to respond to them, get affected OR put the blinkers on.
One of the most common things I hear (from friends and family) is that “Why are you in such a hurry?”
And my favorite (almost regular) response is : I found my passion at thirty. It took me a really long time to commit to something. I deserve to be in a hurry.
In this hurry, I have learned that people’s opinions should matter as long as they are emotionally invested in you. If your win or loss breaks them the same way it breaks you. Otherwise put the blinkers on.
While building Blogchatter, I faced decent amount of ridicule. Friends who would wonder how it could amount to anything substantial and why was I even devoting my life to it. Family who thought cancelling family dinners or functions because there is a chat session to host – is not only offensive but also extremely annoying.
But it mattered. It mattered to me that I negate all of this and believe in my vision.
Again, it could be Blogchatter that I discuss here. But it also holds good for my marriage how everyone was against me getting married so early on. Or how decision to not drink is always inviting judgmental eyes from friends, but well – who cares!
This is my version of thirty. Do you too block negative emotions or people out of sheer need to keep sanity?
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I am taking my Alexa Rank to the next level with My Friend Alexa. And as part of this I am blogging a series on turning thirty, two down – six more to go ! Do you know if you have an insight into thirties or based on my online (or offline persona) if you have a query about being thirty shoot me an email at [email protected] – I would love to perhaps feature your point !