Truth is Coronavirus can do nothing to us. Because we are too broken for worse things to break us now. Individually as well as a society. But say it out loud and watch the next man on your Twitter timeline scream with such energy that you almost believe his “ALL CAPS” broke down. And yet, he will tweet again the next day “GOD BLESS AMERICA” putting all your doubts to rest.

Do you know in the list of “essential items”, the great United States of America (God Bless the Wall) has added guns to the list. Yes! Because God forbid if a school gets opened and a young mentally disturbed lone wolf cannot find a gun to kill his classmates with. Now that would be a loss to the overall death count of the country! And what wrong precedence it would set if he instead of picking up the gun, walked to say a counselor and took help? No, no what sort of an uncivilised society are we even building?

Speaking of uncivilised society, my family group has *just* thrown some freshly brewed bigotry infused fake Whatsapp forwards. I am so happy to see that even with the world coming to an end, some things will not go out of fashion. Sometimes I feel these men who create these forwards are visionaries – they are thinking of a time say thousand years from now – when aliens discover our ruins (and mutated coronavirus strains), they also discover this rich literature of “Whatsapp Forwards”. I think their game is history books on Mars where people will read that a failed Prime Minister in 2020 who went by the name of Nehru brought the downfall of a great nation because he wasn’t paying attention to this young boy named Bal Narendra’s Mann Ki Baat.

OKAY. I GET IT. STOP GOOGLING NEWS PIECES, YOU GAIZZZZ. I am going kosher. In fact why don’t you just skip that entire paragraph – yes Trump Bad, We GOOOOOD. Okay? Have you reached your resting heartbeat? Do I move ahead? Cool. Breathe easy.

In some very non-controversial news, I just unpacked my BigBasket order – a total of thirty five items – filled with things I never needed but still bought because well “You live only once – in March 2020”. And so now we have like twenty bags of chips, two kilograms of oranges and grapes and a wide variety of popcorn flavours – because there can never be enough for you to try out.

And all of this makes me feel very guilty. Because truly I wasn’t quite scared of coronavirus as much as I was afraid of running out of fresh oranges in my fridge. Which further makes me question my whole life – coz honestly .. I don’t even like oranges that much. I am more of a papaya person. Speaking of papaya, I couldn’t get them. They were out of stock. Is this really how it will all end? Us without papaya? And fake whatsapp forwards. And Nehru being Bad. Very bad.


Compensating for all the Anti-national Words #MujheMaafKarnaOmSaiRaam

For those new to the place, a free write is something where you write whatever comes to your mind until about 500 words and then you put the pen down. It helps if you have a central theme in mind – it is in all seriousness a great tool to better your overall writing style. All of April you shall be exposed to this nuclear radiation, better strap up the googles

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